What to Do When Life Feels Meaningless: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Perspective

Life Feels Meaningless. Now What?

Have you ever found yourself thinking:

• What's the point of all this?

• I'm wasting my potential.

• I don't feel fulfilled or enjoy anything.

• Is this all there is?

If so, you're not alone.

Many people struggle with a sense of meaninglessness at some point in their lives. Sometimes it shows up during periods of depression or anxiety. Other times it shows up after achieving goals that you may have thought were supposed to bring happiness. You might have a successful career, relationships, hobbies, and responsibilities, yet still feel an unsettling emptiness leaving you confused as to why.

From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective, feeling that life is meaningless is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. In fact, it often signifies a need to reconnect with what truly matters.

Why Life Can Feel Meaningless

When people experience meaninglessness, they often assume they need to find the "right answer" to life's biggest questions.

Questions such as:

• What is my purpose?

• Why am I here?

• What should I be doing with my life?

Unfortunately, many people get stuck waiting for certainty before taking action.

ACT offers a different perspective. Rather than trying to solve meaninglessness through thinking first, ACT focuses on creating meaning through living. Meaning is often not something we discover. It is something built through our actions.

The Trap of Chasing Feelings

It is often thought that the primary goal is to feel happy in life. Most of us strive for happiness, believing it is the ultimate pursuit. And for good reason. If we are happy, we wouldn't feel depressed, anxious, directionaless, listless, etc. Emotions often signal that either something is going well or not. When we are happy, we feel content, as though all is right and there is nothing to fix. So, it is natural to treat feelings as a thermometer for overall life satisfaction.

The problem is that feelings are temporary.

You may finally get the promotion, find the relationship, buy the house, or achieve the milestone you've been working toward. For a brief moment, you feel satisfied. Then the feeling fades. Once this happens, people tend to respond by either feeling that their accomplishments are not enough, set another goal they believe is the right fix, or feel a sense of existential dread (like when you finished binge watching a show and you get the overwhelming feeling of "Ok. Now what?").

ACT suggests that fulfillment comes not from constantly feeling good but from living in consistent alignment with your values.

Values vs. Goals: A Crucial Difference

A fundamental concept in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is the distinction between goals and values.

Goals are destinations; much like:

• Earning a degree

• Getting married

• Losing weight

• Buying a home

Values are directions. They look like:

• Being a caring parent

• Showing compassion

• Living with honesty

• Pursuing growth

• Contributing to others

Simply, goals have an end date whereas values are consistent, never-ending pursuits. The core of meaninglessness is not a lack of happiness, it is a disconnection from our values. Meaning that we aren't living a life that is a true reflection of the person we what to be and the life we want to live.

What ACT Says to Do When Life Feels Meaningless

1. Stop Trying to Think Your Way Out of the Problem

Reflection can be useful, but endless rumination often creates more suffering. ACT encourages people to notice these thoughts rather than treating them as problems that must be solved immediately.

Instead of thinking you have to figure out what your purpose is before taking action, treat the thought for what it is, a thought. Thoughts are not always indicators of what is true, or what we must do. Thoughts are often responses to how we feel about what we're experiencing. When we treat thoughts as the descriptor or the prescription, we unintentionally bind ourselves to it as though it is the only option. By only noticing the thought, the shift creates psychological distance from it, so that you have more flexibility in how you choose to engage in the moment.

2. Make Room for Existential Anxiety

It's our natural instinct to try to eliminate feelings of emptiness, uncertainty, or existential fear. In ACT, we take a different approach.

Instead of fighting these experiences, you can practice making room for them. This means to acknowledge the feeling without trying to change it or get rid of it. At first you may feel discomfort, however, you are building emotional tolerance. When we have low tolerance, we tend to focus primarily on getting rid of the negative emotion, thus moving us away from acting on our values. Having emotional tolerance instead will enable you to commit to your values simply because your attention is not hooked on the emotion, it's just letting it be.

Here you will notice that meaningful living does not require certainty or comfort.

3. Clarify Your Values

Values serve as a reliable compass when life feels directionless. some questions you can ask yourself include:

• What kind of person do I want to be?

• What qualities do I admire in people I respect?

• What do I want my life to stand for?

Sometimes, these questions can be difficult to answer. Values are not always easy to identify. However, values are something that can be observed through our emotions. Treat your emotions as though they have a voice then ask yourself:

• What would this emotion say if it could talk?

• What does this voice suggest about what's most important to me?

We tend to have positive and negative emotional responses because the thing we are responding to matters. A classic example is when we are angry because someone yelled at us undeservingly. You're probably thinking "I did nothing wrong that justifies being yelled at". This suggests that fairness, justice, and respect might be important to you.

Identifying values can also be observed in our behaviors. Consider a time where you felt fully engaged in something, like you're in a flow state. Ask yourself:

• What did I enjoy the most in this experience?

• What did I naturally gravitate to?

• How did I engage? What was I most careful about or attentive to? Why was it important to be attuned to those aspects?

Behaviors are a great indication of what we value for one reason: The conception of all behaviors begins with a thought.

4. Take Small Meaningful Actions

A common mistake people make is believing they need to feel motivated before acting. However, in ACT, action does not require motivation first, only commitment. Even small actions taken in the direction of your values can create a greater sense of purpose.

One of the most effective and reliable ways to know what small step to take is by beginning with defining the value and work backwards; narrowing down each action to the smallest and simplest form that is easy to commit to.

For example, let's say your value is being a caring parent. Define what it means to be caring to you. What do you envision? You might say a caring parent loves their children. In that case, what does it mean to love your child? You answer saying it means to show them they matter. If so, then the next question is how do you show them they matter? You reply by saying being more involved with their interests is one way. This is a good answer; so, how do you make sure you are involved? From there, continue to ask yourself similar questions until you can identify the smallest action you can take and then commit.

Final Thoughts

If life feels meaningless right now, you do not need to wait until you have everything figured out before moving forward.

From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy perspective, the goal is not to discover a perfect purpose that permanently removes doubt or suffering. The goal is to build a meaningful life by taking actions aligned with your values, even when uncertainty is present.

Meaning is often found not in the answers we discover but in the directions we choose to walk.

And sometimes the next meaningful step is much smaller than we think.